The Builder



Cartoon African American Builder Holding Small House Ready Real ...
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The strength of any building lies in its foundation. Engineers and construction experts recommend that for a foundation to be strong enough to hold the building, it must be tough enough to withstand ‘dead’ and ‘live’ loads.

In construction language, dead load refers to the weight of the structure itself while live load is the external weight from people and objects external to the basic structure. Even more interesting, every building’s foundation is customized to suit ground and region in which the construction is being done for durability.

Such is a relationship. The strength of a relationship lies on that upon which its strength is premised. Love, patience, understanding, care and trust to a relationship are like the strength to hold dead load. It gets tiring, mundane and straining to keep up with all the troubles that come with understanding your partner, forgiving their mistakes, compromising and understanding their perspective. Love, patience, understanding, care and trust help partners to hold up through the dead load.

Similarly; patience, understanding, respect and trust are like the strength needed to hold live loads. External pressure and influence from family and friends, temptation from seemingly much better people and gossip from sadists, can end any relationship in an instant. The process to build trust between the two of you eventually grow into intimacy; an unbreakable bond from the strongest of forces from the live loads.

Once you decide to break your relationship, it is an entire house you are breaking.  Trying to fix it is literally building a new house; laying a new foundation, purchasing new materials and piecing them one by one to have something solid and whole.

Just as every foundation is customized to suit the ground and region in which the construction is being done; relationships are not a one size fits all. Whereas couple ‘A’ may need more patience and understanding, the other may need tough love and reassurance to last.

You are the builder. You hold the tools and the materials. You choose the kind of structure you get to have.

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